Drug of Choice

I was in a horrible mood today. One of the good things about having a very regular cycle is that I can predict almost to the hour when I will metamorphose into Ms. Hyde.

Usually there will be warning signs, unexpected little flashes of temper, a day or two before. For instance, at dinner on Saturday night I spoke sharply to one of the boys, using a tone of voice that was out of proportion to the minor offense. Tab glanced at the calendar that hangs in the kitchen and smiled knowingly.

Smug thing. How would he like to be at the mercy of his hormones?

Of course, these monthly fluctuations are nothing compared to the peaks and valleys of my postpartum moods. In the weeks after Daniel was born, I can remember weeping inconsolably at a commercial for Hallmark greeting cards. It was even worse after the twins were born; mercifully, like a trauma victim, I have blocked out most of those memories.

I realized this morning, with a real sense of panic, that we had no decent supply of chocolate in the house. Sure we still have a fair amount of Christmas candy lying around, but those are only insipid Hershey's milk chocolate kisses. Hershey's chocolate is OK--not great, but OK--under ordinary circumstances. But today I needed the hard stuff; nothing but dark chocolate would do. I took the twins with me on an emergency run to the store to get my drug of choice: Lindt dark chocolate with hazelnuts.

Hold the bar in your hand. Feel the weight of it: a full three ounces of delight. Press the wrapped bar to your nose and inhale the fragrance. Slowly peel back the paper outer wrapper, then the foil inner wrapper. Inhale deeply once more, then break off the first row of squares. Re-wrap the bar and put it away for the next fix. Snap off one square at a time to savor slowly--

--silken, rich, mysterious, night-dark chocolate studded with crunchy hazelnuts--aaah!

Repeat as necessary.

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