Get a Horse

Thursday night when I picked Tab up he noticed something leaking by the minivan's front passenger-side wheel.

"This doesn't look good," he said, leaning inside the car to pull the hood release. It broke in his hand.

"Goddamn piece of shit American car!"

"Tab. Not in front of the boys."

"Well, what am I supposed to say? I can't even look under the hood to see what else is wrong with this fucking car."

We'd been planning to take the minivan to the Dodge dealership to fix several other problems. For one thing, we haven't been able to use the back windshield wipers because whenever we turned them on, a fuse would blow, deactivating both the back wipers and the airbags. Chrysler had sent us a recall notice about this faulty part.

Another, more worrisome problem was an intermittent difficulty in starting the car. We'd turn the key and nothing would happen. Sometimes it would take nine or ten tries to get the car started. I always worried that one day I would be unable to get the car going in order to pick up Daniel, or I would be stranded at the supermarket with a load of melting, thawing groceries. It hadn't happened yet, but I figured it was only a matter of time.

Since the minivan is our only vehicle, repairs pose a logistical problem, and we hadn't gotten around to taking it to the dealership. Fortunately, our friend Mary, who spends most of her time in Texas these days, told us we could borrow her Thunderbird if we were ever in a jam. We took her up on her offer last year when our brakes needed to be replaced.

So after dinner that night, we picked up Mary's car and then drove to the dealership to drop off the minivan. The repair shop at this dealership is open all night, which is fortunate. The mechanic there told Tab that the starting problem was probably due to the battery. Tab didn't think so, but since the battery is nearly five years old, he told the mechanic to replace it. He also ordered a tuneup and oil change since we are due and the garage is running a special.

On Friday morning we stopped by the dealership on the way to work, hoping to find our minivan done. As much as we appreciate the use of Mary's car, two-door vehicles were not designed with children in mind. And I had already bashed my head twice when getting into the car.

Unfortunately, our car was not yet done. The mechanic had discovered that replacing the battery did not solve the starting problem and had determined that we needed a new starter (whatever that is). He was waiting until we authorized the purchase of that part. Tab agreed and was told the minivan would be ready later in the day.

Oh, and that leak Tab spotted? A broken water pump. It has been one problem after another with this minivan.

We finally got our car back this morning. The total in parts and labor came to $1200 for the tuneup and oil change, starter, battery, water pump, and hood release latch. And we still have to take it back in to get that back windshield wiper problem fixed because the garage didn't have the part in stock.

I don't normally engage in profanity, but I have to say Tab was right. Goddamn piece of shit American car. Tab and I have already decided: our next minivan will be a Honda Odyssey.

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