Fights

Tab has a number of vacation days he needs to use up before the end of the fiscal year (June 30) so he decided to take today off. Combined with Monday's Memorial Day holiday, today's vacation day gives him a four-day weekend.

We had decided that one of the things we wanted to do today was to see Gladiator. I've been dying to see this movie for weeks, but our babysitting arrangements kept falling through. Earlier this week, for instance, I'd called my mother-in-law and asked if she'd watch the boys on Wednesday evening so that we could go to the twilight show (around 5:30 p.m.). She couldn't do it that day because of another engagement but offered to watch them on Thursday evening instead. Thursday was out, however, because Tab was planning to stay late at the office to finish up work before his holiday. Stephanie then said she could watch them Friday during the day but later remembered that a workman was supposed to come to the house that day. At that point I decided to make other arrangements.

Fortunately, my aunt Rita had called a few days ago asking if we wanted her to watch the boys, so I asked her about Friday and she agreed. My mother-in-law was over here last night and overheard me on the phone confirming the time that Rita was to come over. Stephanie had a sour, pursed-mouth look on her face, but she didn't say anything. She's made it clear in the past, however, that she doesn't think that anyone else is qualified to watch the boys.

So Rita showed up today, much to the boys' pleasure. They were excited to show her their books and how they could print out pictures on the new color printer. As for Rita, she thanked me for asking her. The boys cheer her up, she always says.

Our trip to the movies didn't start out very well, unfortunately. Tab and I had a disagreement on the way to the theater over the climate controls in the car, of all things. It culminated in Tab's insistence on getting out the minivan's owner's manual in the theater parking lot to prove his point. He was right, and I conceded.

"See, I told you," he gloated.

"OK, OK, I already said you were right. Now, can we drop it?"

Tab remained in a bad mood going into the theater. Actually, he'd been out of sorts all morning. I think he was looking for something to be mad at, and the disagreement in the car was a handy excuse. His attitude irked me because this was supposed to be a kind of date for us. I'd been looking forward to seeing this movie all month, and it has been such a long time since we've been out together. We barely said two words to each other as we got our tickets and found our seats. Then the movie started, and I forgot to be annoyed.

Wow! It's been a long time since I've seen a film so powerful. The action sequences were breathtaking, from the opening pitched battle in Germania to the bloody gladatorial fights to the death. Having just re-watched I, Claudius, I found it amusing to see Derek Jacobi in a toga again.

But the best thing about the movie was Russell Crowe and the quiet strength of his performance. He acts with the subtlest of glances and facial movements and with the sheer physicality of his presence. He was utterly convincing as Maximus, a man of honor, natural fighter, and born leader. I was enthralled by him.

Tab liked the movie, too. His bad mood had evaporated by the time we left the theater. We picked up Daniel at school and then went home.

Rita said that Matthew and Stephen had been good for her. She ended up staying for another hour, filling us in on the latest developments on the dismantling of Nana's house. It has been a slow, heartbreaking process, accompanied by family fights among at least three of the five siblings.

I hate seeing this happen to the family. More than anything, I can't help thinking how much this dissension would distress my grandmother if she were still alive. In Nana's memory, my aunts and uncle should at least try to get along.

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