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1/28/1999 Fearful Symmetry9:15 a.m. Last night's news was all about a 400 lb. Bengal tiger loose in Jackson. Six Flags Great Adventure denied the tiger was one of theirs as did the "Tiger Lady," an elderly Jackson eccentric who reportedly owns more than 15 tigers. Many Jackson residents called in to 101.5 to give firsthand accounts of the helicopters circling overhead, road blocks, and police cars warning residents via bullhorns to stay in their homes. I thought many of the reactions expressed on the radio were just plain silly. I honestly doubt that the tiger presented a real danger to any adult in Jackson, though small pets could have been in trouble. Sadly, police ended up killing the tiger last night when they were unable to subdue it with tranquilizer darts.11:50 a.m We saw Jean on our walk this morning, and she told me my MIL was bitching to her yesterday about peanut butter. I had told Stephanie when I went out with Liz that the boys could have peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or yogurt for lunch. When Jean saw Stephanie with the boys yesterday, she asked them what they were going to have for lunch, and they exclaimed, "Peanut butter!" Stephanie then launched into a tirade about how she can't believe I give them peanut butter for meals. "My mother never gave me peanut butter, and I never gave it to my son!" When Jean responded that she herself loves peanut butter sandwiches, Stephanie insisted that peanut butter was more of a dessert item. "My mother gave us salami for lunch," she commented. Salami, with all its nitrites and nitrates and saturated fat: now there is a great menu choice for young children! The ironic thing is, my mother-in-law is the only person who buys my kids junk food. That very day she brought over a package of Oreos and a package of Sugar Wafers. I was so annoyed by this story that when we returned home, I crushed the unopened bag of Sugar Wafers against the counter, pulverizing them, and threw it all away. My mother-in-law has that effect on me, sometimes. What really irks me is that she criticizes me behind my back. If she has some concerns, I wish she would express them to me directly. I would have used the opportunity to educate her about the nutritional value of peanut butter. I mean, I must know what I'm doing, right? My boys are all healthy and growing, and none of them is overweight. 8:15 p.m. Well, I've calmed down now. I know I shouldn't let her get to me. I need to remember that I can't change other people; I can only control my own reaction to their stupidity. I'm not going to let this pass, though. I'm going to copy some nutritional data on p.b. and give it to my MIL. It probably won't change her opinion--"My mind is made up, so don't confuse me with the facts," seems to be her motto--but at least she'll know that I know and may think twice before complaining about me to others. I'm still thinking about that tiger. I wish they had not had to kill it. When I'm very angry, I'd like to think of myself as a tigress: powerful, controlled, and deadly. Instead I'm afraid I'm actually more like a wolverine or other small, mindless, destructive creature. Well, I can always aspire to tiger-like wrath.
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