4/2/1999
Friday

Could Be Worse: This morning I read a report in our local paper that gas prices in California are closing in on $2 a gallon! Just yesterday I was nettled because gas prices here have risen from 86 cents to 99 cents in less than three weeks.

Listening: Jesus Christ Superstar (the Broadway cast version) all this week. I always want to listen to this album during Holy Week.


April Fools

Happy April Fool's Day! Yes, I know it is April 2; that's the joke, see.

I only played one trick yesterday, and it was kind of a spur of the moment. When I saw the funny picture Jody had posted in her entry of March 31, I wanted to share it with Tab. So I decided to send it to him at his office as an attachment to an e-mail that I composed to look like it was one of those Melissa e-mails. I expected him to call me, concerned that our computer at home was infected, but he didn't. When we picked him up this afternoon, he told me that he thought the picture was funny, and I chided him for opening an attachment. He said, "I knew Melissa wouldn't be in a JPEG attachment." Tab recognizes file formats! I thought that was pretty good for a guy who barely knew how to turn a computer on a couple months ago.

My most successful April Fool's Day joke ever was also the simplest. Seven years ago, I had a colleague who was an avid Clinton supporter. It was 1992, and then-Governor Clinton had emerged as the surprise frontrunner for the Democratic presidential nomination. On the morning of April 1, I stopped by Gene's office to tell him about a report I claimed I had just heard on the radio on my drive to work. I said that there were unconfirmed rumors that Clinton was about to be implicated in a sex scandal. Looking back now, I don't quite remember whether Paula Jones had as yet crawled out of her trailer park with her sordid little story, but Gennifer Flowers was definitely a name everyone had heard. And only a few months before, Clinton, Hillary by his side, had confessed on 60 Minutes that he had broken his marriage vows, so my hoax was all too believable.

Gene's face went pale at the news. He asked, "Are you sure? Maybe they were talking about Gennifer Flowers again."

"No, it's someone else." I answered. "It's supposed to be someone on his campaign staff, very credible, not some floozy."

At that point, our co-worker Jeff (who was in on the joke) walked in to Gene's office. "Are you talking about the Clinton thing? I heard about it, too. What do you think he's going to do?"

"They were saying Clinton is going to give a press conference at 10 a.m." I went on. "They think he is going to withdraw from the race."

Gene looked so stricken, I took pity on him. "And you know, the most interesting thing about all this is the day it is taking place."

Gene looked blank for a moment, then started to laugh. Jeff and I really had him going there for a while. Tragically, Gene died in a car accident in 1996, long before Monica and Linda became household words and before he could learn how sadly close our joke was to the truth.


This morning the boys and I walked over to Nana's to clean up her yard. Her front yard wasn't as bad as it had been a few days ago. Someone must have tidied it up recently. The back yard still had quite a bit of debris that had blown in through the winter. I filled an entire garbage bag, mostly with empty Corona beer bottles that some clod had dumped at the end of her yard. She has a double lot, and her yard extends all the way down to the next street instead butting up against the back yard of another house. The blinds were closed and the newspaper still on the porch when we arrived there at 10:45 a.m.; when we left an hour later there was still no signs of anyone up and about. Not wanting to disturb Nana if she was still in bed, we left without going in.


12:45 p.m I'm sitting on a white resin chair in the alley behind our house. I've blocked the alley off at either end with orange cones to prevent cars from coming through so the kids can play safely. The twins are on their ride-on cars and Daniel, who is off from school today, is pedaling his two-wheeler with training wheels. He's wearing elbow and knee pads and a purple and black helmet, the long and narrow design of which makes his head look like one of the creatures in the Alien movies.

Our house is almost in the middle of the block, so I can see the length of the alley from my chair. Matthew is keeping pretty much to himself, traversing the alley from one end to the other. Stephen and Daniel just rode by me and announced they are on their way to Discovery Zone and after that they are off to have a Happy Meal. I bade them farewell and wished them a good time. DZ or RompAround are their usual imaginary destinations, but sometimes they decide they are riding to Maine to see their grandparents and cousins.



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