Blossoms: I've finally identified those trees with the showy pink flowers. They are Kwanzan cherry trees, which bloom about two weeks later than the other flowering cherries. They are in full bloom now and quite beautiful, with huge, double blossoms.

Listening to: Loggins & Messina, Best of Friends, which makes me think of my high school friend, Gigi.

Deadbeat Cousin

The situation at Nana's house has gone from merely unpleasant to downright ugly. The story so far: In January, my 19-year-old cousin Sarah moved down from upstate New York to live with Nana. It was understood that she would help care for Nana, in addition to taking two courses at the local community college and waitressing a few days a week. Because Sarah was caring for Nana, Rita only asked for $100 a month in board plus a nominal weekly sum for the use of Rita's car.

Rita and Sarah had a tense relationship from the start. Rita never liked Sarah's using her car, and Sarah resented Rita's attempts at rule-setting. Then Sarah totaled Rita's car, which didn't improve matters. Sarah's plan to buy a used car has brought tempers to a boiling point; it turns out that Sarah has only paid $300 toward the $1000 she owed them for back rent and a couple of monstrous phone bills. Our uncle Jim, who has Nana's power of attorney, informed Sarah last Saturday that he expected her to repay the money she owes before she buys a used car. She didn't seem to get it: she told Jim, "Well, first I have to pay my credit card bills" [apparently she has maxed out her credit cards] "and then I have to buy a car and pay for the insurance, and then I'll repay you."

Jim informed Sarah that if she buys a car, the first drive she will take in it will be away from Nana's with all her worldly possessions stowed in it because he will kick her out of the house. Jim stopped over our house on Saturday after this very tense confrontation. He was still upset about having lost his temper and raising his voice and banging the table. Poor Jim. He has had some trouble with his own children; it's a shame he has to take on another kid who is not even his daughter.

The news about Sarah's debts shocked me. I admit that I am a hopeless Pollyanna at times. I really try to assume the best of people (in marked contrast to Tab, who usually assumes the worst) and it is disturbing to discover that someone I liked is so lacking in responsibility.

I am loathe to blame parents for every problem teenager, but in Sarah's case there is no doubt that Aunt Sal's lackadaisical parenting and substance abuse problems have set a very poor example for her daughters. I remember an incident that occurred shortly after I moved down here in 1987. I was living with Nana then, and Sal and Sarah arrived for a visit. Sarah, then aged 7, was acting up and Sal was ignoring her misbehavior, as usual. For the first time in my life I heard my sweet, soft-hearted grandmother raise her voice and yell at one of her grandchildren. I was appalled.

I guess what upsets me the most about this Sarah situation, aside from its effect on Nana's well-being, is the utter waste of what could have been an ideal arrangement. Sarah does take wonderful care of Nana, and, given Rita's own health problems, it was good to know there was an able-bodied, strong young person in the house.

Aunt Sal, puffed up with righteous indignation on her daughter's behalf, is supposed to arrive in town this weekend, and her three siblings who live here--Jim, Rita, and Sheila--are going to meet with her, along with my father in Maine on the speaker phone. I don't know how it is going to end. I still hope the situation can be resolved, but that is probably unlikely.

Today in kindergarten, the kids had a free drawing period in which they could draw anything they wanted. Daniel drew something, and when Miss Dawn asked what it was, he answered, "A penis, in the grass." This flustered Miss Dawn, who did not know how to handle the situation. She talked about it with the headmistress, Miss Pat, who laughed and told her not to make a big deal out of it.

I don't think Dawn is very comfortable teaching boys. She once told me she hopes that when she has children, she only has girls. I also think she doesn't know Daniel very well. She told me several times that Daniel was best friends with Kevyn, but Daniel only talked about Danny and never about Kevyn at home. When Kevyn moved away, Miss Dawn warned me that Daniel might be upset by his departure, but Daniel never commented on it at all. Whereas when Danny went to Florida for a week, Daniel mentioned at least three times, "I miss Danny. I can't wait for him to come back." You'd think in such a small class--only seven kids since Kevyn left--the teacher would have a better idea of her students' interpersonal dynamics.

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