Reading: The Diamond Age. Stephenson has a gift for extrapolating technology trends and creating a believable near future. The future societies he writes about are not mere dystopias; they have good points as well as bad. The futures he creates are like today, only more so.

Dry at Night Progress Report: As of this morning, Stephen has five stars on his chart for five dry nights. Matthew, however, has not stayed dry yet. In fact, both last night and the night before we've ended up putting a diaper on him at 11 o'clock because he was unable to pee when we got him up. Background courtesy of
Ace of Space

The Measure of a Life

When I was young, my uncle once told me of an essay he had to write for a college psychology or sociology class. The essay question postulated a boating disaster with 20 survivors and room for only 12 in the life raft. Given the age, gender, health conditions, and professions of each of the survivors, my uncle was supposed to choose which 12 would live and which 8 would die and justify his choices.

The idea fascinated and repelled me at the same time. Whenever I thought about it, I kept returning to the same idea: that I could not--would not--choose which lives were less worthy than the others. Even if my lack of choice meant all were doomed, I felt it was morally wrong to value one life more than another.

Part of me still wants to feel that way. Yet with John F. Kennedy, Jr.'s missing plane in the news for the past few days, I realize that my philosophy has changed, even without my knowing it. I can't help contrasting the way I feel now with how much more upset I was when Princess Diana was killed. I cried when I heard her accident was fatal, and I remained sad whenever I thought about it for days afterward. I don't feel that way about JFK, Jr., his wife, and her sister.

I think in the case of Diana my feeling of grief stemmed from the fact that she was a mother. As a parent myself, it was upsetting to me to think of a mother dying before her children are grown. One of the first things I said to Tab when I heard the news about the Kennedy plane was that I was glad they didn't leave behind any orphans.

I am uncomfortable feeling this way because it seems to imply an almost utilitarian view of human life: that I rank a human life by its impact on others rather than on an intrinsic worth. I'm not comfortable with that view.

Yet the death of a child or young person seems worse to me than the death of an aged person. And though I have reservations about the death penalty, I don't mourn the executions of murderers.

I like to think of myself as a rational person, but I realize I am reacting from gut feeling here, and that irritates me.

And while I'm talking about what irritates me, let me say that I'm getting tired of all the talk of a "Kennedy curse." Any family as large as the Kennedy clan is going to have its share of accidents and untimely deaths. The two assassinations aside, many of the tragedies the Kennedys have suffered stem from the risk-taking behavior indulged in by too many of the Kennedy males.

Once again, it is the women in the family who are left to suffer. I feel sorry for Rory, whose wedding day, no matter when it occurs in the future, will always be tainted by the loss of her cousin. And, aside from from the Bessettes, no one has lost more in this latest accident than poor Caroline. She's lost not just a brother but the only remaining member of her birth family and the only one who understood what her life has been like

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