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8/12/1999 Thursday
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Ready to Go"Let go, Stephen!" I glance in the special mirror we have that gives a view of the back of the minivan. Stephen is pulling on the tail of Matthew's Beanie Baby bull, whom we've christened Ferdie. "Stephen, let go," I order, but too late. Matthew wails. "You broken it!" He passes Ferdie up to me, and I see that the tail has come partly off. Stephen is at first repentant. "Sorry, Matthew. It was an accident." "No it wasn't! It was on purpose! I'm going to tell Daddy you broke Ferdie's tail." "Mama, was it an accident, or on purpose?" Stephen appeals to me. "I know you didn't mean to pull Ferdie's tail off. But you should have let go when Matthew asked you to." Stephen tries to hold Matthew's hand. "Don't hold me!" Matthew shouts. I don't want to be holded!" "It was an accident," Stephen insists, getting angrily defiant, now that his attempts to apologize have been rejected. "Aw, man! I'm mad at you, Reno!" "So? I don't care." I reassure Matthew that I can fix Ferdie. "Good, because I want to take him to Maine with me," he says. Matthew's mood softens. Sensing the change, Stephen once again reaches for Matthew's hand. "Are you going to tell Daddy?" he asks Matthew. "Maybe...no. Because it was a little bit an accident." 9:30 p.m. The Thule cartop carrier is on the minivan. The gas tank is filled. Our suitcases are packed. A lunch and traveling snacks are prepared: bagels buttered, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches made, grapes washed, Havarti cheese sliced for cheese and crackers. Our neighbor Vickie has been lined up to take care of our cats. Tab has taken his first dose of antibiotic. (Yes, I called my doctor, and, yes, I lied. I'm not happy about it, but decided it was the right choice.) He has just gone upstairs, and the boys are already long asleep. We're getting up at 3 in the morning and hope to be on the road by 4. Time for me to go to bed, too. I'll be in touch with my notify list while I'm away, but there will be no updates until Sunday, August 22. Good-bye for now.
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